another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
