sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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