Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
