a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
