Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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