I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My penis needs a shock collar
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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