That's intense
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
