My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
