i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
