The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
