She's JV to your varsity
Just cropdusted the office
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize