small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
