toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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