operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
