She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
