I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Barsexuality is the new black.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
