I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Mom said you looked used
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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