seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize