i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
