using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
