walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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