we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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