once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
