Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
