This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
