You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
