i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
