Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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