I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
