When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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