i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
