My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
