Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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