i'm signing you up for texting rehab
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
