I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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