Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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