which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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