forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
