How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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