? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
