I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize