her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
