butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
