marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
