Cold hands, warm shart.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize