Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
