So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
