You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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