everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
