I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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