I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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