is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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