Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
