a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
