Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
