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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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