dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
