When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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