I am puke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
