took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
