Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
