its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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