I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
