How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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